So you are your partner have been bickering, so how about some love hack to help your relationship? Psychologist Eli Finkel has examined the life loves of thousands of couples. He describes marriages and relationships in business terms. It is simply a matter of managing the supply and demand of relationship’s emotions.
One key element that must examined by each person in a relationship is their individual emotional demands. For instance, many of them are expecting their partners to restore the emotional support and companionship that was previously provided by their families and even local institutions such as bowling leagues, churches, social groups, and the like. There is also the issue of dealing with busy lives having careers and children which means there are less time to spend with each other and solidify the relationship.
Going back to the business analogy used earlier, you only have two choices. You can either reduce the emotional demands or you can increase your emotional supply. Obviously, you only have one choice really – increasing the emotional supply.
Dr. Finkel introduced the idea of a ‘love hack’ which are proven methods that take relatively less time or effect, but provide small results. The good thing is that they do not require the cooperation of your partner – so each person in the relationship can use these as they see fit. (See Dr. Finkel’s book, The All or Nothing Marriage)
Love Hacks that will Strengthen your Relationship
Picture Fights From Outside of the Event
Where you choose to look from outside of any situation, you are guaranteed to get a fresh perspective – but you have to do it sincerely. The good thing about new perspectives is they will show you immediately if you are being unreasonable or not. They will let you know if your feelings are justified or if they are really about something else entirely.
Remember that fights are okay if you stay on the topic and you allow each other to express their true feelings.
Always Keep a Gratitude List
It is great idea to at least weekly, take the time to jot down some things that your partner has done that have helped your relationship. Now take a few minutes to appreciate what they have done. Remember this; gratitude is always a great element in any relationship.
Accept a Compliment
Sadly, Dr. Finkel has observed that a common trait in failed relationships is “rejection sensitivity” of one of the partners. People that are suffering from reduced self-esteem usually have difficulty really believing that they are loved by their partner. In order to avoid the hurt from the expected rejections of their partner, they discount compliments and affections from them.
These people need to reframe questions to themselves about their partner’s compliments. They need to presuppose the affection by explaining to themselves why their partner complimented them. After doing this exercise over and over, they will discover that the compliments are real.
Be Sure and Celebrate All the Small Victories
This is the lowest hanging fruit of all these love hacks because it can easily be applied to everyday of your lives together. Be sure to celebrate all your combined small victories together. If someone loses a few pounds, get excited about it. If someone gets to leave work early, acknowledge how great that is. This is a great way to bond a little bit each and every day.
If you need some love hacks to help your relationship, then I encourage you to begin using a few of these love hacks and watch the magic slowly grow back into your relationship.