Whether we like it or not, all of us are persuading daily. It could be trying to convince our spouse which TV show to watch next, or it just could be trying to get our toddler to eat her veggies.
Of course, these are small examples. Our methods of persuasion become more critical when it pertains to our career or negotiating a price for a new house.
The bad news is when we are not very skilled at persuading others, we don’t get what we want very often. The good news is that persuasion is a human skill that can be learned and mastered by anyone.
It used to be believed that great salespeople were “born”, but we have since learned that this is not true. Some of the most successful salespeople in the world are soft-spoken and non-aggressive. Yet they have mastered some effective persuasive methods that best fit their personality.
3 Mental Triggers for Persuasion
The best way to become more persuasive is to learn, and more importantly, understand how and why these basic methods of persuasion work. Feel free to start using and master the methods that you are most comfortable with.
Never forget that the real key to using these persuasive techniques is to naturally blend them into your normal conversation.
Social Proof
Social proof and testimonials are among the most powerful persuasive tools used by marketers — and for good reason — they work!
This is why we see testimonials on so many sales letters and flyers.
But we don’t have to write sales letters to use social proof. There are many ways we can put it to use right away in our daily lives.
Suppose you are trying to sell an idea to one of your closest friends. The first thing you need to do is think about the people who are most influential to that close friend. You want to identify the person(s) whose opinion is valued the most by your close friend.
Now tell those influential people about your idea. Get an honest opinion from them about your idea. Whenever they tell you that it’s a good idea, you are ready to propose the idea to your friend.
Whenever you can tell someone that a person very close to them approves of something, you have gone a long way in persuading them to approve of the idea as well.
Here are some sample comments you can use:
“Johnny liked this. He said it will change how he does .. {FILL IN THE BLANK}.”
Since it simplifies … {FILL IN THE BLANK} .. Julie is going to use it right away.”
Now think about how you can use this method with your boss. Take your idea to colleagues that your boss respects the most and get their opinion. But be very careful not to go over your boss’s head.
Authority
A person of authority has a lot of natural persuasiveness going for them. We have all seen how anything that comes out of the mouth of a CEO is quickly consumed and digested by his or her staff. And of course, we know this is mostly because they want to gain favor from their boss.
But authority comes in many forms and we can learn to use it even if we are not a CEO or boss. Until we become authoritative in our domain, we can “borrow authority” from others.
Suppose you are discussing a topic that you know quite well with your friends. As you make or illustrate an important point, start quoting voices of the authority of that topic.
Such as:
“According to Albert Einstein … “
“Aristotle at one time as opposed to that notion … “
This does two things:
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- It injects a huge amount of credibility into the point you are making.
- It lets others gradually associate you with the voices of authority.
When you are subtle with this method, and you use it consistently, your authority will naturally grow.
Also, don’t ignore the power of using this method at work. You can borrow authority by referencing the words of upper management.
Rapport
Many human behavioral gurus say that rapport is the deepest connection you can ever have with another human being — other than a romantic relationship.
This is because when we have a rapport with someone, we get limited access to that person’s thoughts and feelings. It means that we have created a connection with them so intense that mutual trust is off the charts.
This means that they will be very open to our suggestions and opinions — and to being persuaded. Needless to say, rapport is quite powerful.
There are several subtle ways to initiate rapport with someone. As we interact with them, we can begin mirroring their actions. If they lean back in their chair, then we lean back in our chair. If they stretch their arms, then we do likewise. And if possible, we can even breathe along with them. Inhale and exhale right along with them.
Another way to intensify rapport with someone is to share a very personal story with them. Don’t give them a silly little story, share with them a story that is personal — and makes you a little vulnerable. They will realize that you have drastically increased your trust in them. In most cases, they will respond by sharing a personal story with you — which means you have a rapport with them.
You Must Use These Methods Ethically
Please don’t use these methods to manipulate others. You must be authentic and sincere as you apply persuasive techniques.
For instance, whenever you create rapport with someone, you must be sincere. If not, it won’t work for long. Be ready to give back to that person.
Use only truthful information when using these methods. Your credibility will suffer in the long run if you don’t.
